Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe I'm just hurt.
Maybe I'm both...

Either way, I have not been myself at all this whole semester. This may be more out-spoken than I should be, but why do I have to go through this? I know that I can't demand that God give me what I want, but my heart hurts, and all I ask is that it go away. I want to be happy... and not just be happy with part of my life, but to be happy with it as a whole.

If I'm honest with myself, I'm not. Sure I have so much in my life, but there's still just one wound that won't seem to heal. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to find true happiness. I'm sick of the nights like this where I can't sleep, and I am caused to think of hurtful thoughts.

I seem to have a harder time, and I just don't know why. Why do I feel like this? Why did I let myself open up more, when I knew I shouldn't have... It's my own fault... Things are so confusing right now, and my emotions aren't my best friend. This sort of honesty I have is something that is extremely hard for me to talk about. I like to think I have it all together, and I make every effort to show that to others.

Truth is, I don't. I fail more than I succeed. I cry more than I smile. I'm rude more than I am nice. I just need some help...