You know what? Growing up is hard... You go through those years when something as simple as your best friend eating your last animal cracker is THE biggest problem of you life, and then years later, you are dealing with issues such as what you are going to do with your life and how you are going to make it financially on your own. These huge questions we have to ask ourselves and figure out the answers to are pretty scary when they come at you all at once.
When did I trade in my Little Mermaid lunch box for a ticket on a rapidly accelerating train towards "the great unknown?" Man, I heard this said so many times, but time really does fly by. Today, I had the opportunity to go surprise my mom and grandparents in Medford for Labor Day Weekend. It was a great time with the family (minus Dad). While I was there, Michelle, Jonathan, and I watched home videos. Man, we were some studs back then- ankle socks with sandals (that didn't fit our feet might I add), short haircuts, awkward teeth, chubby bodies, and not let's not forget the constant need for attention- Those were some of the happiest times of my life, and why?
I didn't have a care in the world.
Once 7th grade hit, I became more aware of what others though of me (particularly of the male species... yes species), I was faced with new truths about the world in which we live in, and I had more and more responsibilities piling on. I had to start growing up- Whoa. I'm so thankful God spared me from a lot during those years. I had wonderful friends who constantly challenged me, and continue to do so. I realized the importance of being nice and loving to others, I realized that I was a very independent girl, I learned about several talents I had never realized were within me, and I didn't waste my time on immature boys- not really by choice... I was just "one of the guys." The last one is bitter-sweet, but I'm trying to make it more on the sweeter side. :)
What I guess I'm trying to say is that we must look back on our life when we feel overwhelmed and unsure about our future and remember where we came from. I no longer cry when that elephant cracker is captured from my paper towel- or at least not as long and I forgive quickly. I've grown up. Sure, it has been over time that this has all happened. If I had to jump from the first time I dressed myself to taking Accounting II, I would have died!
God has provided for me since.... forever!
Why then must I doubt so much?
I guess so I can show my true faith in Him.
As much as I want control and have my future setup step by step... I can't. God won't do that for me. It's my choice. I must allow God to guide me through and help me make the best decisions I can- no matter how difficult they may be- so that I will remain in His will.
If you know me, letting go of control and spontaneity are not my fortes. I like organization and order.
Life is chaotic and complex.
This should be interesting.
Good thing I'm not alone.
