Give Thanks

So, Thanksgiving is coming up in just a matter of days, and this got me thinking about what I am thankful for. I look around me, and I see several things that reveal just how blessed I am. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear (and a lot of them might I add)... my list goes on!

But something I found in my life that I am thankful for is something that is not commonly thought of as being a blessing: my struggles. This year has been difficult on so many levels and has been a constant struggle that I have been dealing with. I think about how frustrated and hurt I am, but at the same time... I am so thankful for them! I know this sounds odd, but if I don't feel this hurt and pain, then how am I supposed to grow up? You don't grow unless you push yourself and fight through the pain.

I am so thankful for this time that I have alone because I am learning about how to put complete trust in God and His will for my life. I am being romanced by my wonderful God and He is teaching me how to become a better me so that I will be a full and complete woman. I am daily challenged to examine my life and to be in tune with what God wants me to do with my life. I am finding out more about the meaning of what love truly is and what it looks like. I have also found that in these weak moments of my life, my true friends have shined through.

These past months, it has seemed as though I have had a sour mood more frequently than usual and I've been upset with my many struggles, but if it weren't for these times, I wouldn't be the young woman that I am today. Yes, I can say that I am blessed for all of these struggles that I've gone through this year! I don't feel very different. Everyday brings me another confusing loop that I must find a way to jump through, but I know that with God by my side, I can make it through anything and in the end, I will be made complete.

My God will never leave me. He will never give me more than I can handle. I am a strong woman of God and my faith... my little faith.... will not be shaken. I know His plan for my life may not be pleasant, but it is worth it, and in the end I will gain so much more than anything I could ever gain right here and right now.

It is by grace that I am here, and it is by grace that I can stand on my feet and praise God with all my heart. It is by grace that I get to live this undeserved life!

***This is why I'm thankful:

God has given me more than I deserve, and He is shaping me and training me for things to come. These struggling times have been some of the most formative times of my life. I can't believe how my faith in God has changed, and how much I have grown. I am a better person because of my struggles, and this brings me a joy that only comes from God.


***This is why I love Thanksgiving:

I am reminded of everything above

Yeah, I like quotes...

"Let us be silent that we may hear the whisper of God."
-Emerson

I happen to think that when we are struggling and have asked "why" until we are blue in the face, there's only one thing that we have left to do- be silent. Why do we always get selfish at the first sign of difficulty. Things aren't going our way, so we decided to tell God the life just isn't fair. "God, I studied for 12 hours and all I got was a 38%." "I'm a good person, why did they have to put me down like that?" "I said I was sorry... isn't that what I'm supposed to say so that you can give me what I want?"

Let's all be honest here, we've said things like that before. Truth is though, we don't deserve anything! We can ask God why all we want, but that doesn't mean things are going to change. Life can stink sometimes and that's just how it is. I'm not saying that we should forget to ask those why questions altogether; those questions are healthy to ask. Don't just go through life without a spine, taking everything as it comes without some sort of questioning. Wrestle with life. Wrestle with God. Allow Him to change your name. Walk away from situations with a limp. It shows you are serious about following God and allowing Him to show you what you're really capable of if you just become honest with yourself about who you are and allow God to shape you into the person you want to be for Him.

When we don't get those answers we want though, it can be difficult. So many of us keep on talking to God and telling Him how much we hurt. It's okay to hurt and lament to God. He hears our cry- each and every one of them! How amazing is that? If I tried to listen to those cries, I would get a headache. There's one thing we miss though, and that's to sit in silence and allow God to respond back to us. We may not hear it audibly, visually, or even at that exact moment and in the response we want to hear, but God's listening. We have to be silent and in tune with his whispers so that we don't miss the big things He wants us to hear.

Just look around, beauty is beckoning you from every corner... That hug from a dear friend, the flower you took time to smell, your favorite song on the radio when you turn on the car, the warm cup of coffee that reminds you that Christmas is right around the corner. Life is beautiful even on the worst of days... just remember to look for that beauty, it's reminding you that God is still present in your life. Take a walk and just focus on things outside yourself and you will see what I mean. You forget about the cold, you forget about the injustices of the world, and you see the good. God is still here.

I've been in this waiting room before. I've had a hard time clinging to my faith and hope for what my life is going to be for God. My life, as short as it has been, has had very difficult moments, but I've seen God at work. In fact, these times when I'm waiting and struggling, I've been more aware of God's hand in my life. Funny how those moments of pain are the greatest moments where the joys in life are revealed. You learn to be content and grateful for what you still have. You notice the little things more.

Don't give up on God. Don't give Him and ultimatum. Even if He doesn't answer right away or in the way you want, when you're silent... God shows up, and in BIG ways.

He will show up... I just don't know when or how. My love for Him grows everyday, and I couldn't ask for a better joy than that, which I have found in Him.

Ahhh...

There's nothing like cruising down the freeway in a convertible at night with your friend, singing, laughing, screaming, and dancing.

It's wonderful.
It's free.
It's exciting.
It makes your heart leap.
It's intimate.
It's lovely.
It's mine.

It came at JUST the right time, after I had JUST asked for a pick-me-up, and it's all mine.
My special gift to be enjoyed, and I will never forget the feeling of the wind in my hair, and the song in my heart.

This is what life is supposed to be like: Living like there's no tomorrow and taking up every opportunity to live the life we've been graciously given!

What a blessing to have friends who share these moments with you. We've been given life, and it's God's desire that we LIVE it! This isn't always easy. There are many things that drag us down, but one thing's for sure. If you get an opportunity to do something amazing during those rough times, suck it up and go for you... you will be pleasantly surprised! Don't be blind to opportunities for that crummy day to be turned upside down.

There are blessings all around, open your eyes... really open your eyes... you are blessed beyond your understanding...

I will never forget last night.

** Funny how I write to someone as if someone is reading this.... no one does- HA! At least it's a personal reminder of what I need to do, and who i need to be... and once again, I'm talking to myself... we have a problem here**

This amazes me...

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:17-18

Now that's some strong faith...

My prayer

Embrace me
Cover me in love
I am yours

Grace, it's truly amazing

'But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.' {2 Corinthians 12:9}

What a wonderful thing to think about.

What a wonderful thing to experience.

Dreams

They can be good... they can be bad.
I'm going to talk about the bad kind.
One specific dream in particular.
That keeps coming back.
It won't stop.
It's the same thing over and over again.
I'm sick of it!
I am trying to find joy.
Each day I have the stupid dream makes that task difficult.
I am happy.
I have a WONDERFUL life.
I am blessed beyond what I deserve.
Why do I let my subconscious get to me so much?
Maybe because it seems so real.
Why does it seem so real?
I tasted it.
I FELT it.
I saw it.
It happened.
But only in my dream.
Man, it seemed so real.
Dreams.
They can be good.... they can be bad.
I HATE it when they're bad.